Whispers In The Dark
by Doctor Addison Montgomery
Summary: He saw their kiss and felt his heart break. SamPhil angst. Please review!


**Whispers In The Dark**

**Summary:** He watched their kiss and felt his heart break. SamPhil angst.

Phil Hunter logged off of his computer but still remained staring blankly at the darkened screen. The shift was over and he could go home now but there was nothing left to go home to anymore, not since both Cindy and Kate had walked out of his life. His marriage to Cindy had been loveless towards the end but it didn't mean he missed having someone to go home to who would ask how his day had been. Phil couldn't blame Cindy, it wasn't her fault that she didn't love him anymore and he couldn't blame Kate either for never loving him. Phil could blame himself for the mess he had made of his life recently and now the one person who could have made things alright for him made it obvious that she didn't care for him either. He had watched Samantha and Stuart leave happily together ten minutes ago, blissfully ignorant to fact that Phil was falling in love with her, or did she already know but still chose to ignore it? Phil didn't know but he did know that he had lost, more than likely for good and it was his own fault.

"Night Phil." Zain said, passing his desk on his way home.

"Night." Phil muttered still staring at the computer screen, consumed with his thoughts.

"Are you alright?" Zain asked, stopping again as he noticed Phil's distant expression, he didn't seem to be acting like himself today. Zain wondered if it was something to with Stuart Turner, he knew how much Phil cared for Sam and he also knew first hand what a loser Stuart could be.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Phil lied, he knew Zain was only looking out for him but he just wanted to be left alone.

"'Kay, well I see you tomorrow serge." Zain said, and left the CID offices, leaving Phil alone with his misery.

"I've been messed around before Stuart and I've been through a lot recently and if you're just one of those guys who is going to have a laugh about this afterwards then I'd rather know now rather than regret it later."

"I'd never hurt you." Stuart assured Sam. "I've not been very lucky in love myself but I think that can change now, I want it to change."

Sam gave him a sweet smile and he smiled back.  
"But why me?" She asked softly.  
"I don't understand."  
"Why not someone your age, someone like..."

"Suzie." Stuart filled in. "No, Zain already hates me enough as it is."

Sam couldn't hide her laughter.  
"Sam, I really like you." Stuart said, changing tact.

"I really like you too."  
They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment, then slowly and nervously they moved closer to share a kiss.

Phil sighed and stood up from his desk, the cleaners would be in soon and he needed to get out of this place before it drove him insane. Slowly, Phil walked to the window and looked out, nothing seemed to be going out there and he was about to turn back around when he caught sight of a familiar blonde head. Leaning further forward, Phil went to get a closer look but instantly regretted it. He felt sick to the stomach and he could barely move, he knew he shouldn't watch but he couldn't help it. He watched, barely breathing as their kiss became more passionate, his heart broke into more pieces with each moment. Holding his head up high Phil went to pick up his jacket from the back of his chair and headed out of the office. Outside he walked briskly passed Sam and Stuart, he wasn't going to make a clever remark or pretend like his enjoyed watching the squirm as he caught them because he didn't and it hurt him more than they'd ever know.

Sam broke away from Stuart and ended their kiss as she saw Phil walk passed but he didn't seem to be paying them any attention, Sam couldn't really blame him but it made her feel guilty. It was like she was parading her new fling right in front of him, she knew how much of a hard time Phil was having and she felt like she had rubbed salt in his wounds.

"Phil!" She called, ignoring Stuart's expression. "Have a good night yeah?"

Phil looked around in surprise, but he was hurting more than before. He either wanted Sam to love him or to hate him, part of him wanted to hurt her for the pain she had caused him but he knew he could never hurt her, not intentionally anyway.

"Oh yeah, you too." He said, managing a small but fake smile from somewhere.

He walked on by, concentrating on getting to his car in one piece. Once he reached his car he got in and slammed the door. Slotting the key in the ignition Phil turned on the CD player.

_  
'Don't turn away  
Don't give in to the pain  
Don't try to hide  
Though they're screaming you're name  
Don't close your eyes  
God knows what lies behind them  
Don't turn out the light  
Never sleep never die.'  
- Whisper -Evanescence_

Phil Hunter smiled ironically as he drove away, throwing only the one casual look in Sam and Stuart's direction. He saw them walking towards his car and he tried to be happy for them and hoped they had a happy evening but it was hard. At the end of the day all he wanted was for Sam to be happy and if Stuart was the man to do then he supposed he couldn't argue. Another song came on as Phil drove home. _'You could slit my throat  
And with my one last gasping breath_

_I'd apologise for bleeding on your shirt._

_Maybe I should hate you for this  
Never really did ever quite get that far.  
But the truth is, I would never lie to you  
Unless I had to, I'll do what I got to  
If only you knew half as much as you pretend to.  
If I'm just bad news than you're a liar  
I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions  
This will be the last chance you get to drop my name.'  
-You're So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday_

'This is it." He thought. "I'm letting go."

Sam looked out of the window as Stuart drove, she was lost in her own thoughts about her new relationship and she was thinking about Phil.  
"Are you okay Sam? You've been really quiet." Stuart commented.  
"I'm fine thanks." She said, leaving her thoughts behind for a moment.  
"Good." Stuart smiled.

Sam tried to smile too but she wasn't as happy as she had been earlier. The radio was playing quietly in the car but Sam picked up a few lines.  
_'I guess you don't know what you've got until it's gone.'  
_- _Big Yellow Taxi - Counting Crows._

Sam sighed gently. Why did life have to be so complicated?  
"Stuart." She said softly. "Can you drop me off at my place, I think I've got a migrane coming on."

Stuart looked hurt but Sam didn't feel as guilty as she had earlier when she had seen Phil.

"I'm sorry."   
"No it's okay Sam. Another time yeah?"

"Yeah." Sam tried a smile but she felt so fake.

Sam went inside to have a shower as soon as Stuart dropped her own and once she was dry and dressed she selected a bottle of wine and hailed a taxi.

"18 Willow Avenue." Sam told the driver. She checked her make up in a mirror from her handbag. She tipped the driver and got out onto the pavement taking deep breaths as she did.

Cautiously she rang the doorbell, his face was a mixture of puzzlement and disbelievement as she opened the door. He was still wearing his work clothes but he'd taken off his tie and undone the top two buttons of his shirt.

"Sam?" He asked, wondering if he was dreaming.

She held up the bottle of wine for him to see. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." He replied, holding open the door for her. "What are you doing here?"

"I realised what an idiot I've been." She told him shrugging off her coat, he took it from her.

"You have?" He asked in surprise.

"Wine?" She asked, bring their conversation to an end. He reappeared with glasses from the kitchen and Sam tried to pour without her hands shaking.

They sipped their wine in silence.

"Sam." He said hesistantly. "What are you really doing here? Where's Stuart?"

"I don't love him." Sam replied.  
"You've only known him five minutes."  
"I know, but I've known you nearly four years Phil."  
Phil nodded. "Yeah, it's been a long time."  
Sam nodded too. "And being with Stuart made me realise..." She paused.  
"Made you realise what?" The suspense was killing Phil.

"I love you." She whispered.  
Their wine glasses were left forgotten and all could be heard was the whisper in the dark.  
"I love you too."


End file.
